Marriage As God Would Have It

Prepared by Bobby Stafford of the church of Christ at Granby, MO

Even the happiest marriages face challenges, but God’s design offers a blueprint for love, unity, and lasting joy. This sermon outlines God’s plan for marriage—a plan based on commitment, selflessness, spiritual maturity, and mutual support. God’s word, not modern culture, is the manual for building a strong and enduring relationship.

Good Marriages Require Work Marriages don’t thrive by accident. They require effort, attention, and humility from both spouses. Each partner should ask, “What can I do to make this marriage a success?” It cannot be one-sided. Both must be invested and willing to grow together.

Marriage Is a Lifelong Commitment Jesus taught that marriage is a permanent union (Matthew 19:3–6). Next to our relationship with Christ, our commitment to our spouse must be the strongest bond we form. We vow before God to remain faithful until death. This requires putting our spouse even above our parents and consistently prioritizing their well-being.

Love Like Christ In John 15:12, Jesus commands us to love as He loved us. This is the model for marital love—sacrificial, unconditional, and forgiving. A husband is to love his wife as he loves himself (Ephesians 5:28). That means loving her in spite of imperfections and putting her needs above his own. The same is true for wives. Love is action, not just emotion.

Marriage Is for Mature Adults Marriage demands maturity. It is not for children or for those unwilling to grow. Mature adults understand the responsibilities, the need to give up selfishness, and the importance of long-term dedication. They prepare themselves spiritually and emotionally before saying “I do.”

Marriage Requires Responsibility 1 Timothy 5:8 teaches that a man must provide for his family. Marriage is not for the lazy or irresponsible. A godly husband works diligently to support and care for his household. Likewise, both spouses must be reliable and committed to shared duties.

Pursue Peace With Your Spouse Christians are called to live in peace with all (Romans 12:18), and that begins at home. Spouses must strive to make peace, not war. Arguments and grudges destroy intimacy. Ephesians 4:26 commands us not to let the sun go down on our anger. Forgiveness is vital for a joyful and lasting marriage.

Make Your Spouse Your Best Friend A true friend loves at all times and sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 17:17; 18:24). That’s what our spouse should be—a confidant, a partner, and a trusted companion. Marriage flourishes when husbands and wives enjoy spending time together, share their hearts, and laugh and cry as one.

Helping Each Other to Heaven Marriage should help us grow spiritually and bring us closer to heaven. Our goal should be to see our spouse saved. What greater joy than walking into eternal life hand in hand with the one you love?

Sermon Outline: Marriage As God Would Have It

1. God’s Desire for Marriage
   • Genesis 2:18 – God saw it was not good for man to be alone.
   • Proverbs 18:22 – A good spouse is a gift from the Lord.
2. Marriage Requires Intentional Effort
   • Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 – Two are better than one, they lift each other.
   • Philippians 2:3–4 – Humility and considering others is key.
3. Marriage Is a Sacred Commitment
   • Matthew 19:3–6 – Let not man separate what God has joined.
   • Romans 7:2–3 – Bound for life by God’s design.
4. Love Like Christ
   • John 15:12 – Love as Christ loved.
   • Ephesians 5:28–29 – Nourish and cherish your spouse.
   • 1 Corinthians 13:4–7 – Definition of Christ-like love.
5. Spiritual and Emotional Maturity Required
   • Proverbs 24:3 – Through wisdom a house is built.
   • 1 Corinthians 13:11 – Put away childish things.
6. Responsible Provision and Support
   • 1 Timothy 5:8 – Provide for your own household.
   • Titus 2:4–5 – Keepers at home, faithful and loving.
7. Pursue Peace and Forgiveness
   • Romans 12:18 – As much as depends on you, live peaceably.
   • Ephesians 4:26–27 – Don’t let the sun go down on anger.
   • Colossians 3:13 – Forgive one another as Christ forgave you.
8. Friendship in Marriage
   • Proverbs 17:17 – A friend loves at all times.
   • Proverbs 18:24 – A spouse should be your closest companion.
9. Helping Each Other Reach Heaven
   • 1 Peter 3:7 – Heirs together of the grace of life.
   • Hebrews 10:24 – Stir up one another to love and good works.

Call to Action If you are married, recommit today to loving your spouse as God commands—selflessly, sacrificially, and spiritually. If you are preparing for marriage, make sure you're ready to uphold these divine principles. And above all, submit to God’s word, the true manual for marriage. If your relationship with God isn’t right, now is the time to respond to His invitation—repent, obey the gospel, and start building your life and your marriage on the solid rock of Christ.

Scripture Reference List

• Genesis 2:18 – God designed companionship in marriage.
• Proverbs 18:22 – A good spouse is a blessing from God.
• Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 – Mutual support in relationships.
• Philippians 2:3–4 – Value others above self.
• Matthew 19:3–6 – God's view of the marriage bond.
• Romans 7:2–3 – The lifelong nature of marriage.
• John 15:12 – Command to love as Christ loved.
• Ephesians 5:28–29 – Selfless love in marriage.
• 1 Corinthians 13:4–7 – Description of Christ-like love.
• Proverbs 24:3 – Wisdom builds a home.
• 1 Corinthians 13:11 – Maturity is required.
• 1 Timothy 5:8 – Providing for family is essential.
• Titus 2:4–5 – Godly roles in the home.
• Romans 12:18 – Live peaceably with others.
• Ephesians 4:26–27 – Resolve anger quickly.
• Colossians 3:13 – Forgive as God forgives.
• Proverbs 17:17 – Friendship and love are constant.
• Proverbs 18:24 – True friends are close companions.
• 1 Peter 3:7 – Marriage as a shared journey of grace.
• Hebrews 10:24 – Encouragement in spiritual growth.